الخميس، 16 فبراير 2012

Jokes in English



What is the longest word in the English language? 
SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!" 


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Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. 
Maria: This is it. 
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? 
Class: Maria did. 

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? (What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip).
  • Telegram                     
  • Telephone
  • Tell a woman 

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A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.

B: That's impossible. Whose baby?
A: An elephant's.
________________________   

"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said.
"Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?". 

________________________ 

A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
B: Yes, of course.
A: Great! I never could before! 

________________________ 


A: Meet my new born brother.
B: Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name?
A: I don't know. I can't understand a word he says.

________________________ 

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it? 
Student: Obviously it is the past 

________________________ 

Q: What letter of the alphabet is an insect? 
A: B. (bee)


Q: What letter is a part of the head? 
A: I. (eye)


Q: What letter is a drink? 
A: T. (tea)


Q: What letter is a body of water? 
A: C. (sea)


Q: What letter is a pronoun like "you"? 
A: The letter " I "


Q: What letter is a vegetable? 
A: P. (pea)


Q: What letter is an exclamation? 
A: O. (oh!)


Q: What letter is a European bird? 
A: J. (Jay)


Q: What letter is looking for causes ? 
A: Y. (why)


Q: What four letters frighten a thief? 
A: O.I.C.U. (Oh I see you!)


Q: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years? 
A: The letter "m".


Q: Why is the letter "T" like an island ? 
A: Because it is in the middle of waTer.


Q: In what way can the letter "A" help a deaf lady? 
A: It can make "her" "hear.


Q: Which is the loudest vowel? 
A: The letter "I". It is always in the midst of noise


Q: What way are the letter "A" and "noon" alike? 
A: Both of them are in the middle of the "day".


Q: Why is "U" the happiest letter? 
A: Because it is in the middle of "fun".


Q: What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters? 
A: Alphabet = (26 letters)


Q: What relatives are dependent on "you"? 
A: Aunt, uncle, cousin. They all need "U".


Q: What is the end of everything? 
A: The letter "g".

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